GO’s guide to the NCAA Tournament can help you talk the talk
By Paul LaTour For Sun-Times Media Mar 17, 2011 01:03PM
San Diego State’s Billy White reacts after scoring against BYU during the championship game of the Mountain West Conference tournament on March 12, 2011, in Las Vegas. | Julie Jacobson~AP
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College tournament: Men’s bracket
We’ve all been there.
Maybe it was at a party or at the office or in line at the grocery store. Wherever it was, it involved a conversation, one everyone around you seemed oddly engrossed in, yet you hadn’t the slightest idea what was being discussed.
This happens quite a bit every year at this time for non-sports fans. Suddenly everyone is talking about Cinderella going to the Big Dance, but only after surviving some sort of bubble ordeal that involves brackets. Sounds painful.
This is March Madness. You may have heard of it. We’re here to help if that’s the extent of your knowledge.
This primer may not give you enough information to fool an expert, but it will certainly help you sound just smart enough to avoid being labeled a neophyte (not that sports people use terms like that, so quick, forget you know words like that).
We call it the Big Dance for People with Two Left Feet.
March Madness: Most people will think this only refers to the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. But in Illinois we know better. March Madness was coined by the Illinois High School Association in an essay printed in 1939. The IHSA now owns the trademark on the term, which refers to the boys and girls state high school basketball tournaments. Bet your buddies in Wisconsin and Indiana won’t know that one!
Big Dance: The alternate name for March Madness, which is the alternate name for the NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship, which obviously was in need of an alternate name.
Cinderella: What dance is complete without Cinderella showing up? In this case, the term refers to underdog teams that pull upsets throughout the tournament, thus stealing the spotlight from the rest of the dance guests. Sadly, get ready for glass slipper references, too. Sigh.
Seeds: These aren’t for planting. These are assigned to participating teams, 1 to 16 in each of the tournament’s four regions. Taken as a whole this constitutes the bracket.
Brackets: Nothing is more annoying than the hundreds of Facebook posts, Tweets and/or discussions among people who think everybody wants to know how their predictions are doing. Brackets are also the cause of massive work productivity losses in the U.S. One recent estimate says the cost could be as much as $192 million.
No. 5 seed vs. No. 12 (Warning: advanced tip): Really want to impress your know-it-all friends? Ask them which of the four 5 to 12 first-round matchups are ripe for the upset. According to popular thought, the fifth-seeded teams struggle more than any other favorite. In reality, the No. 6 seeds are just as vulnerable, statistically. Drop that into the conversation and you are officially a member of the club.
Bubble teams: No, they are not teams forced to live in sterile environments because of weakened immune systems. These are the teams who weren’t able to get an automatic bid to the tournament and have to sweat it out
Charity stripe: People attempting to appear clever will use this term because they think “free-throw line” needs sprucing up. It doesn’t. Call it what it is.
Coach K: Whoever coined this one should be given special commendation from sports writers/broadcasters, who can use this shorthand rather than having to say — or spell — the full name of Duke University head coach Mike Krzyzewski (and yes, we had to Google it!).
Final Four: The national semifinals are referred to this way, though basketball clearly loses out to its college hockey counterparts when it comes to style points. Hockey’s semifinals are known as the Frozen Four. Much better sounding.
“One Shining Moment”: Get ready to return to life as normal when this song is played. It appears annually as the background for a CBS video montage that means March Madness has ended. Since it will be April it should be obvious, but the song always helps. Keep a tissue handy.
So now you’re ready. Don’t be afraid to casually slip a couple of these into those inane conversations. Perhaps you’ll look less like a person who knows what neophyte means and more like a person who can expound on the benefits of the matchup zone.
But if anybody should ask about the matchup zone, politely walk away. You’re not ready for that.